Remember how you used to say, You couldn’t wait till tomorrow for a brand new day and, No fuss when you had to ride the bus. You just add a little blush, To paralyze your school crush.
Now your older and the weight is on your shoulder, Makes the world a little colder. No more hiding in the old day, Be strong, Don’t you give up hope. It will get hard, Life’s like a jump rope.
Up, down, up, down, up, down, up, down, yeah, ‘Cause it will get hard. Remember, life’s like a jump rope. Up, down, up, down, up, down, up, down, yeah. It will get hard, ‘cause it will get hard.
There’ll be a bump, there will be a bruise. There’ll be alarms, and there will be a snooze. There’ll be a path that you will have to choose. There’ll be a win, and there will be a lose.
And you gotta hold your head up high and Watch all the negative go by. Don’t ever be ashamed to cry. You go ahead, ’Cause life’s like a jump rope.
Up, down, up, down, up, down, up, down, yeah. It will get hard, Remember, life’s like a jump rope. Up, down, up, down, up, down, up, down, yeah. It will get hard, come on.
I want to tell you that everything will be okay, That everything will eventually turn itself to gold. So keep pushing through it all Don’t follow, lead the way, Don’t lose yourself or your hope. ’Cause life’s like a jump rope.
Up, down, up, down, up, down, up, down, yeah.
You stomp your feet so hard you make it pound. Raise it back up to the top, Now we’re never coming down. Up, down, stomp your feet, spin around, Clap your hands to the rhythm and you slip down.
Up, down, up, down, up, down, up, down, yeah. It will get hard, Remember, life’s like a jump rope. Up, down, up, down, up, down, up, down, yeah. It will get hard, ‘cause it will get hard.
I really need to talk with you I keep stepping on the vein that keeps my lifeline flowing through I wanna be your perfect stick of glue But I don’t feel perfect at all Sad and insecure, flawed Yea, I find it hard to hold conversations I get sweaty sick and I wanna walk away No, it’s not you, it’s strictly me in this situation But I’m wondering will it ever go away Just go away, still
Sometimes I feel like weeping Awake and when I’m sleeping Perfecting how to put a game face on And this puzzle I’ve been keeping Has been in hiding, creeping Out the closet door Spilling out onto the floor How long will I be picking up the pieces? How long will I be picking up my heart?
Listen, I’ll be as honest as I feel I feel like I’m getting more paranoid Cuz I’m hearing things and they never turn out real It feels like my heart is made of pure steel It just feels so heavy all the time I’m scared of death, I’m scared of living Shit, I gave up on the past cuz it’s unforgiving I misplaced my trust I watch my word begin to rust I’m that balloon about to bust I need a place for reliving, still
How long, in another space and time Keep picking up pieces in the corner of my mind How long, did I know so hard to find Keep picking up pieces in the corner of my mind
What if going home doesn’t make me happier? The world is so scary, changing my life to suit it is terrifying. I feel so miserable right now, because I’m worried about how Pat will feel. His employees are dropping like flies, and now I’m leaving. He must feel so abandoned. I hope he won’t hate me.
I don’t lie that much, except for social lies (such as instead of saying I don’t want to hang out because you’re a backstabbing two-faced bitch, I’ll say I’m busy). I’m a terrible liar, so I guess that’s a good thing. Unfortunately, this leaves me with a terrible guilt complex when it comes to my own lying, as well as the inability to know when I’m being lied to.
I think the last time I lied notably would be last Thursday. Pat wanted us to bring in four leads in cold calling for the week, and I was doing terribly. I went out on Victoria Day for three hours and got nothing, and was almost done my two and a half hour run on Thursday with still nothing. Then a man answered the door whose daughter had done a similar job, and said that I could take his number so that I would get paid. I was supposed to bring in four leads but all I got was one fake one. I felt really bad, but I’d worked almost 6 hours for free and didn’t feel bad enough.
I’m going to ask my parents if I can come home for the summer. A whole month has gone by and I feel like it’s been wasted on me sitting inside a stuffy apartment. Don’t get me wrong, I love the apartment and I love living here, but now that Sam’s gone I feel so alone. I didn’t want to live alone, I’m not ready for that yet. There’s so much stress that comes with paying for groceries, rent, utilities, gas and all that random shit that needs to be bought. And I hate my job. I know lots of people hate their jobs, but even when I was at the lowest of the low at my other jobs, I still liked them more than I do this one. Seriously, I’d rather play bingo every day, work with Wayne in a bad mood or even clean the Christmas room at the Stonehouse than do another hour of this.
Merrickville’s so lovely in the summer. I miss it so much. I need grass and outside-ness. I don’t like living in the city. It suits for school, but right now all I’m doing is distance ed. I miss Hilary and Chantal. I won’t be able to live with my parents for much longer, so why was I in such a hurry to get out?
My housewarming party is finally here! I had to put it off for a few weeks because Shane was away on a field course in Algonquin for two weeks. He isn’t even living here over the summer, but I still wanted him to be at the party. Not very many people are coming, but that’s the way I like it. Sam’s two friends might be out from Toronto, a coworker and her boyfriend, an art buddy and her boyfriend, a res friend and her date… I think that’s it. Pat won’t even be joining us because he has to go out for 9 in the morning. He works 7 days a week, I don’t envy him.
Of course, this means I have mondo cleaning to do today… Boo. Especially because Shane’s coming to move his stuff in, and I want to get the place tidy before he gets here. The kitchen is kind of a disaster right now. The first two weeks were fine in terms of keeping everything tidy, but once work picked up it just kinda disintegrated. It’s not disgusting or anything, but I’m a very tidy person and it agitates me to have stuff sitting around. Shane hates mess so I thought it would be nice to get things clean before he got here (I had to do it for the party anyway).
I’m not the kind of person to give or receive advice. I don’t like to share my problems and I don’t like other people to tell me how I should solve them. I’ve been stuck on this one for awhile because of that, so I just went out and searched for some crummy advice from an advice blog I used to follow.
When asked how much readers should believe the writer and when to expect lies, the writer said, “It’s not a lie if you believe it.” That is terrible advice. I may have taken it out of context because she is often aiming for irony and a bitchy, in-your-face attitude, but I feel like that advice is terrible no matter what the context.