Katie, a 21 year old Canadian art student and proud rural girl. Let's be friends :3
I post a lot of personal crap, this is a personal blog.
Mass Effect owns my life. I'm currently obsessed with Borderlands 2.
The story behind something you recently discovered
(three / fifteen)
I recently had the realization that I’m not as psychologically sound as I thought I was. That’s okay, but it is something worth mentioning as a discovery. Whenever I saw touching scenes of people confessing their past trauma and turmoil, I always thought, man, I’d be so boring in this situation. I’d still be boring, because I believe that out of respect for others in my life I shouldn’t speak ill of them to strangers, but I now realize that maybe I would have something to talk about. There’s all the optimal things I’m learning about in psych that I’m realizing I don’t actually have, such as secure attachment. I fall somewhere between dismissing and fearful attachment (negative view of others/positive view of self and negative view of others/negative view of self respectively) rather than secure attachment, as I’d thought all my life. Also, one of my driving motives is self-improvement. However, I’m not sure it’s a healthy driving motive.
Anyway, this was my big recent discovery. I have problems, just like everyone else. It doesn’t make me feel bad (or good), it’s just something I was able to understand.
Do you usually have more than one dream in a night? How often do you remember them?
(three / ten)
I’m pretty sure I dream more than once throughout the night. Research tells us that we dream in REM sleep (if I’m not mixing the stages up - correct me if I’m wrong!), and we go through each stage multiple times throughout the night. I feel like I dream vastly different things throughout the night (remember that I said I am usually aware that I’m dreaming). I don’t remember much, though. It’s so disjointed and confusing, and it slips away so easily. When I can really grasp what happened in a dream and hold onto it, I find that I’ll remember it for years.
Almost all of my dreams are lucid. (No joke.) I’m a very light sleeper. When I was a kid I was so sick of bad dreams that I learned how to wake myself up. After that, it was only a hop, skip and jump to learning how to change my dreams. Being chased by a bear? Fuck that, I can fly. My good dreams aren’t necessarily lucid, but I firmly believe that were I to want to change something during it, I would be able to pull myself into a more conscious state and alter what was going on.
I don’t remember my dreams much past a couple hours after I get up, so this will be very poorly described.
The latest I can remember is I was sitting around a table with some people of another religion/culture having dinner. My mom and I were guests, and the dinner was Bibles. (I’m not kidding, it was like sauteed Bibles or something. It wasn’t very tasty.) I was really worried Mom would be offended and then in turn would offend the hosts because she’s Catholic and wouldn’t want to eat the scripture of her religion. She went ahead and did it politely, if unhappily, though.
Then some stuff happened that I can’t remember, and then somehow I ended up trying to help out a spy. We attacked this fat old guy but then we realized he was an innocent dude who was more on our side than the enemy (who the enemy was, I haven’t a clue). He gave us some info, and off we went.
And that’s all I really remember. If I were able to remember all of my dreams, I would have such wonderful stories to tell.
I could spend every minute of my life thanking you and it still wouldn’t be enough. I’m so afraid of making the commitment to step out into the real world for good, and it’s so comforting to know that you are always there to catch me. When I need encouragement, you encourage me. When I need support, you support me. When I need to learn something on my own, you let me. You don’t judge me for the decisions I make but rather trust that I know how to do what’s best for me and deal with the consequences. I feel like such a burden always asking for money and coming back home, I want to be independent so I am no longer draining your resources. However, I know that I’m only 20 and it will be a long time until I can accomplish this. I hope that when my turn comes to take care of you I will be prepared and will give you everything I possibly can.
I used to tear up to this song all the time. I guess I just felt like I knew the feeling where you just wanted to run away and leave everything behind. I find it hard to believe that there will be a place where you finally feel like you can settle and you will still feel fulfilled in a decade.
George and Izzie are a fabulous friendship, but their relationship was awful. It was as though they were just trying to validate a one-night stand that broke up a marriage. After that, all their chemistry was gone.
(Sorry to the creator of this image for being negative about a couple you like on a graphic you made.)
I believe in love. I believe that I can live my life to the fullest and be the happiest thanks to Sam. I believe that there is somebody for everyone, no one needs to be alone. Being in love is such a powerful and inspiring force. I feel like I can do anything, as long as Sam is there to help me. He teaches me to be better, and he teaches me to think of people beyond myself. Loving someone else means that you want to help them achieve their goals, too, which is a lesson that everyone needs to be taught now and again.